No More Drama!! Self-Discipline

Yesterday I went to get blood drawn for a procedure I have next Tuesday.  I was a walk-in. With COVID the times for appointments are all taken quickly. I had a call from the cardiology saying I had to get the blood drawn that day. I laughed thinking “yea right”. Of course, all of the appointments were taken. The soonest was March 17. Way past my procedure.

So I picked the smallest place that had wait time minimal for walk-ins. I was lucky to have them accept me. As I was waiting I saw on the screen that I had a 12-minute wait. Not too bad. I went back to scrolling Instagram. People came in and out. They had appts so they got called. No big deal, right?! Well, apparently it was for this gal. She jumps up and starts asking how many appts do they schedule for every 15 minutes, her time expired and now it’s back to 12 minutes again. So I looked up and noticed mine was back to 10 minutes. She is ranting and raving. She’ll just make an appt. she says, no big deal. BUT apparently, it was a BIG DEAL if she was shouting in front of us all. By the time she is done, she is shaking. She walks out by saying “thanks for NOT caring”. It was explained to her during her rant that she is a walk-in and appts get priority.

The funny thing is not even 5 minutes later I was called to the back to get my blood drawn!! I almost LOL!! I told the person “thank you so much for taking me! I know I don’t have an appt.” I was nice and cordial to her. AND in return, she was nice and cordial to me as well. As I was leaving I made sure to say Thank You to the people manning the front. They didn’t deserve the woman yelling at them.

The problem with this scenario is this:

Was she really angry because she saw her time reset and she has to sit there for whoever knows how long? She said she would make an appt, it was no big deal!

OR was she angry about something else instead? And decided to yell at the people who were working the front.

Of course we will never know. I am just glad that she left because then I was called!

The words “thanks for not caring” are significant I believe. Is she getting blood drawn to see if she has an illness? I don’t believe it could have been routine. It might have been but by her behavior, I don’t think it was.

Drama! Anger, sadness, happiness. It’s what the person that is going thru the emotions is perceiving at the time. Did something set you off that you’re angry? Do you know why you are angry or sad? Is there a story behind it? Do you even know?!

When I was working at the Library in Maryland I had a person come into re-new a book. He seemed angry. As I was working full time I knew most of the people. The way he acted I knew he wasn’t angry with me but he kept “fighting” with me. I knew it was nothing to do with the situation. So I finally said gently “you seem angry has something happened?” OOH boy was that the right question to ask! Yes in fact right before coming into the library a cop had stopped him and ticketed him.  He realized how he was acting towards me and apologized. I told him there was no need to apologize. He then thanked me for listening to him.

That’s all he wanted. Is for someone to listen to him about his story and what happened to him. He acknowledged he was speeding and deserved the ticket. But that was an afterthought.

Growing up most of us are told don’t be angry, don’t be sad, don’t cry it’s not worth crying over. We keep getting these negative messages for our own feelings. So as an adult we hold in our anger or sadness. We internalize our feelings. But is that healthy?

Drama and self-discipline go hand in hand. Think before you act.

When you get angry about something that just hits so fast. Ask yourself why are you angry? What triggered the anger, or sadness? Sometimes it could have been somebody cutting you off on the freeway, or a co-worker innocently said something that triggered the anger. Are you really angry at that person, or is there something hidden deep inside you that made you angry?

It could have been a smell that brought you back to a memory that you don’t like. It could have been a word the co-worker said that your parent used while you were growing up.

Sometimes we need to think first before jumping up and yelling at someone. Ask yourself is it worth the anger, the embarrassment to yell at the innocent staff who are doing their job?

What is it that brings discomfort to you that leads you down memory lane?

I hate people yelling. I grew up with alcoholic parents that would scream and yell all night long. I would hide under my covers until I fell asleep. I am uncomfortable when anger becomes an issue. But I also know that it’s because of my upbringing. I get anxious as well. I am always telling myself that I am safe when I start to get anxious in a situation. I have to look around and tell myself I am safe!

What feelings are you bringing up that are triggers for you while growing up, or in another situation that happened to you that brought out unpleasant feelings?

Should we tamp down our feelings?

Yes, and no. Tamping down the feelings to figure out why you want to explode is good. Tamping them down to resist the feeling is wrong. We are given feelings for a reason. We are human. We should not have to apologize for our feelings unless we hurt someone. But we should be aware of our feelings. We shouldn’t go down the freeway getting mad at someone and then try to cut them off because they cut in front of us. If we are aware of our feelings then we can acknowledge that person made me angry for cutting me off. I always send LOVE their way. I try not to get angry-here in S Florida we get cut off daily so I would be perpetually angry all day long!

So to wrap up let’s remember to:

Become aware of the situation and your feelings.

Is  there a memory, or a situation, that made you so angry, or sad, that you have to lash out?

Don’t tamp down your feelings. Become aware of them, and let them go. Say I am aware I am very angry because it reminds me that nobody cares about me. Then say a prayer, visualize it and send it to the light of the Angels, and let it go.

Send a loving feeling to the person that you feel that has wronged you.

And of course, journal, meditate, and TAP on your situation!!!

Practice loving kindness to yourself and others. Make it a good day for yourself and others.

Let me know in the comments what you do when you get angry or sad. In what ways are you dealing with it?