conditioning of your mind
Exciting news!
GUYS! GUYS! GUESS WHAT?!!
So many of you have asked me about my website and how I started my business. I have tried to email you back but your emails aren’t going thru. 🙁
I have been following a woman entrepreneur named Marie Forleo. I have quoted her several times from her book Everything is Figureoutable. It has so much on how to think about business and how to start your business.
I graduated from her Business School last year. I started my Life Coach Website because of the classes she and her team-taught. It is highly technical. And they teach a lot on the business side. Her program is only open 1x per year! And GUESS WHAT?! It’s open right now!! UPDATE: Her program is now closed, but get on the waitlist for next year!!
Check it out!! And you’re welcome! 😉
How to describe Chronic Illness using Spoon Theory
Spoon Theory? Have you ever heard of it?
I hadn’t until my 20 something daughter texts me to say she was going to take a nap so she can conserve her spoons.
My son and I both replied “spoons? lol”
Later she texts back to tell us to look up Spoon Theory. If you have a chronic illness, auto-immune illness, autism, anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, and MORE understanding the spoon theory can help others understand your illness and the effect it can have on your life that others take for granted. For instance, not able to make it through the day with the energy that you have, something people that don’t have a chronic illness rarely have a problem with. They have an abundance of energy and don’t think about conserving their energy to get things done throughout the day.
The person that came up with this theory has Lupus. Her friend wanted to know even though she had been to doctors appts. and drove her around for errands. She was shocked that her friend didn’t understand how she felt every day. They were at a restaurant and she just grabbed spoons and gave them to her. She said now let’s talk about your day. She started to take her spoons away after each activity. Her friend was disappointed. Her friend wanted to keep the spoons but she said NO! I didn’t have a choice with my health and now you don’t have a choice with your spoons!
If you want to read about it more you can read it here
Let’s say you have a thyroid condition with depression and anxiety (like me). You are given 12 spoons a day to spend on each activity that you do throughout your day.
You wake up and get out of bed could cost you 1 spoon.
Taking a shower: washing your body and hair, putting on lotion after the shower, AND getting dressed could cost you 2-3 spoons. I usually skip blow drying my hair and makeup. It will take away more spoons.
Now you are down to 10 spoons. Next is eating breakfast and taking your medicine.
That’s another 2 spoons.
My cat needs to be played with as well. And fed. I have to take him outside as well. He visits his (our) neighbors. I follow him around the back yards. I’m hoping everyone has their curtains closed and not see us so I don’t have to talk to them. That takes energy from me as well. Not that I don’t love talking to my neighbors, it’s just on certain days that I didn’t sleep well it’s tiring to stand there and talk. That could cost me 3 spoons!
Now I am down to 5 spoons and it’s not even noon yet! This is when you start planning your day out for the rest of the 5 spoons. Do I have a frozen meal for dinner that I can put in the oven before my hubby gets home from work? What about laundry? Folding and putting the laundry away. What other chores that I have to do or can I put off for the next day?
Now you are down to 8 spoons. Luckily for me, I work from my home office and I can sit and meditate and gain back some energy. In the article, her friend gets down to her last spoon. They discuss making dinner and crashing, or order take out which you don’t have the energy to drive to go get it? Her friend says to make soup and call it a day. She is then left with zero spoons. None. Zilch.
Some days may be better than other days. It also depends if you sleep well the night before. Some days if you want to clean the house you may have to “borrow” spoons from tomorrow. You may know that tomorrow you will be wiped out if you clean the house. Taking care of yourself, and your spoons are essential. Figuring out how much energy you have for a day can help you have a better and productive day. It can help you visually to know what tasks will take more energy. It can help you plan your day out. If you have a doctor’s appt that day, you know that you won’t have enough spoons to do laundry and cleaning that day. It may help reduce the anxiety in your life, or It could help you to tell your significant other that “hey, tomorrow is a really busy day, and I know I will not be up to making dinner, can you help me out?” It may reduce arguments as well if you can plan your day out in advance.
I am proud of my daughter!! She realizes that taking care of yourself is a priority if you want to have a good day. This exercise may help you with anxiety, frustration, anger, or any other feeling you or somebody in your life may have. It can help visually explain to others how you are feeling and why you don’t have energy throughout the day.
Do you think this could help you in your life? Would it bring the stress level down knowing you won’t have to do everything in a day? Let me know in the comments. I would love to hear if it can help you.
A New Year, A New You?
I was just looking at my email and I noticed that the theme from the senders is 2020 sucks, and we need to get to 2021 so we can have a better life!
Yes, 2020 has been hard! People have lost jobs, can’t afford their bills & groceries, and some have even lost loved ones. It’s not fair! It sucks! I agree but if we stay in this mindset we will not have a fantastic 2021!
Look, my hubby couldn’t get another job during the first recession after the company that he was working for went public and sold their company. We went 9 months before he finally another job in a different state. We had to ask his parents for money so we could move our household.
After being in the new state he got laid off again! Luckily I was working then.
I quickly learned that being positive can have an impact on your life. You can still think positive thoughts, raise your vibration, and change your mindset to think and see the positive in your life.
One thing this year you can do is to is not make New Year’s resolutions that you know that can’t be fulfilled. To start any goal is to change your mindset. Write down what it is that you want to change. Write down your WHY. If you write down your WHY and explore it, you will have a better experience and will be able to achieve your goal.
Write down your specific goal. Writing out I want to lose weight is not a specific goal. How much weight do you want to lose? How will you lose it? How much exercise will you be able to do each day or the week?
After my brain surgery, I wanted to start to work out again. My first goal was to gain muscle strength that I had lost. I also needed to get my strength up to last half a day. It would have been unrealistic of me to say I wanted to stay awake all day long. I knew I needed my nap in the middle of the day. I was lucky that I found someone that I still follow to this day that was offering Pilates workouts free for 5 days. I tried to do a little of her exercises each day. Some of the moves hurt my head and I knew I couldn’t do those exercises.
At least 2 times a week I tried to walk around the block. I started by just going down the street and coming back home until I could go further and further each week. Before I knew it I was walking out of our neighborhood and down the street. At first, it was really slow. I had to stop a lot and stretch my back but I finally made my goal a couple of months after my surgery.
Being realistic in my goals was the key to success. I did the same with my meditation and positive affirmation practice. I wrote out my schedule for the morning. I wrote down when would be a good time to sit and meditate and read my positive affirmations. . I included how long I would spend online when I would have my green juice & smoothie, my coffee (decaf), and exercise. I gave myself 15 mins. a day for exercise in the beginning, just to get my body moving. I also scheduled my laundry day so my husband could bring the clothes downstairs to the garage where the laundry room is. I had to be careful of falling down the stairs so I had to ask my husband for help. . (We have since bought a ranch-style home so I don’t have to worry about stairs anymore.) In the afternoon it was more of things like bills, cleaning the kitchen and preparing & cooking dinner.
Finally have a positive mindset. See yourself achieving your goals. If you want to lose weight, see yourself stronger & at your goal weight. If you want to get that dream job, see yourself at the place you want to work nailing that interview! Add feeling behind your visions. Without happy, positive feelings it will not work. You need to have confidence that you will achieve your goals.
I like Napoleon Hill’s quote, “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, the mind of man can achieve.”
How to manifest your desire
I have been doing the Gabby Bernstein manifestation challenge since January 1. I read her book Super Attractor book when it first came out. This is my 3rd challenge. In the past years I manifested my Mini countryman car; my house on a lake in FL and I manifested my life coach business.
If you are struggling;
Gabby says that we should ask for a sign after writing our manifestation statement and if we see the sign we are on the right track, but if we don’t see a sign, it also is a sign. I don’t see my sign. This is the first time I have not seen my sign that I asked for.
So, I went back to the drawing board. I re-wrote my statement, I asked for a new sign, and I released it into the Universe.
Here are some steps to manifest your desire:
- Be really clear on what you want. Write it down in a statement on a piece of paper. Make sure to write it down instead of typing it. There is more energy in your statement if you actually put pen to paper.
- RELEASE the desire to hold onto it. Release it to the Universe, God, or your choice of Source you want to release it to.
- After all of this, ask for a sign to know that you are on the right track. Mine in the past has been a Blue Jay, butterflies, or a Cardinal. Whatever comes to your mind. Don’t push to make it appear to you when you go about your days. You will be filled with Joy when you see it if you believe it.
- Have Fun with your statement!! Look at nice magazines with pretty furniture if you want to manifest a home. Ask a friend out if you want to manifest more friends into your life.
- BE APPRECIATIVE! Make a list of what you appreciate in your life. Be Thankful for waking up in the morning with the sun shining, Be Thankful for your car that takes you to work, and Be Thankful for your job. Be thankful for your house, Spouse, Friends, and Cats (even though they woke you up at 3:30 AM breaking a glass vase on the tile).
- If you are still feeling stuck after a couple of days writing on a piece of paper: I choose to surrender the outcome now. Thank you, Universe, for revealing to me what is of the highest good for all then burn it in a safe place like a fire pit, or bury it in the ground in your backyard. Take time to feel the release. Trust in the Source that what you desire will find its way to you.
I want to mention that there are times when you will want to feel the need to push for your manifestation. The Universe will deliver it when you are ready. Also, when the timing is right.
When we were manifesting our home, I believed that the Angels and the Universe were working behind the scenes. Things needed to happen before our home appeared to us. Our lease where we rented was up in a few months, and the people in the home we bought needed to do their preparations to be able to put up the house for sale.
It’s like a game of chess. Pieces need to be in the right position. Our realtor asked me if she could put me on a list of other homes that were up for sale just in case. I said No! The Angels had sent me this house, I knew without a doubt it would be ours. I just had a very strong feeling! Everything about buying the house went through beautifully! And it happened when it was the right opportunity! I want to say that it was right after the lockdown from Covid as well. A lot of people were having problems back then. I believed it was meant to happen, and it did!
Stay Positive and expect miracles, my friend!!!
How to start to feel fulfilled
First, I want to say Thank You for following me, and supporting me on my website! I am here to help you. So, Thank you.
I did a meditation today where you release the old, and the past, that no longer serve you. I thought of Hunger Games where Katniss has her dress on and it slowly lights up with fire. I thought of the “old” that started at my feet and let the fire go up to my head. The “old” was black ash that fell and I no longer need it. I am the fire girl! I am ready to move forward!
This is a time to start thinking about new. How do you want to live your life? Do you want to keep playing small? Do you want to move ahead in your life? Are you tired of the same old life?
Are you ready to reclaim your power? What do you want in your life? Is there something you have always thought about that you have always wanted to do but don’t believe you can do it? It’s time to DREAM and reclaim your life. Step forward, and put down some stepping stones for you to have a fulfilled life.
I have been able to help clients to benefit from developing greater self-awareness, and mindfulness. By teaching you the power to direct your
own inner voice, choose better-feeling emotions, and make better decisions by feeling empowered to identify any beliefs that are limiting. and what you want to create in your life.
As my neurologist surgeon says:
Do Epic Shit!!!!
Send me an email if you are ready to Move Forward!
Why do we think we have to be perfect?
While I don’t usually post pictures of myself on social media, even on my own business page, I took a picture of myself, being imperfect. To tell myself to let it go, to say that I am loved, and treasured.
I was afraid of making mistakes, I didn’t trust myself & I kept playing small, and putting myself last.
I learned to do it when I was younger and kept on doing it growing up. It wasn’t until I started putting myself first because of my life coach business did I see the pattern.
I wanted to be perfect. I learned growing up that if I was *perfect* I wouldn’t get in trouble with my parents, or teachers. I *thought* I wanted everything to look nice and clean, and I had to act a certain way.
But I overdid it and I had to deal with depression and anxiety attacks. Why was this happening to me?!
I was play-acting all thru my adult life. I pretended I was fine when I wasn’t. Nobody cares to hear about why you are depressed! Just snap out of it they would say! But with diagnosed depression, it is a chemical in your brain that is imbalanced. You can’t just snap out of it, or be happy!! I know, I tried! You become fatigued and more depressed.
It wasn’t until I started to see a psychiatrist and therapy with him, that I started to talk about my life with a special needs child. And growing up with alcoholic parents. My conditioned self wanted everything to be perfect and non-stressed. If that is even a thing. I grew up with stress as a child. I didn’t want a repeat of it, thank you very much.
But my conditioned self reacted to the stress because it’s what she knows and fears, and hates. Anytime something happened I would label it *bad*. Then I would be negative about the situation and I couldn’t handle it. Growing up as a small child when my parents would start drinking and then rage fighting, I would run up to my bedroom, get under the covers and finally fall asleep! I wanted to do that as an adult too. But I would just charge into the situation like a mad bull and start yelling. I didn’t know how else to handle it. It’s what I learned.
Now I meditate, journal, do Pilates and do what I learned, and teach as a life/mindfulness/spiritual coach. Positive affirmations work well too.
My mind used to go over and over again with the past. It’s called monkey-mind. You have repeats in your head. Even trying to fall asleep my brain would try to recreate my fear. After EFT (Emotional Freedom Tapping, I learned to become *safe* when going to sleep. It’s something that I didn’t link to my childhood. I didn’t feel safe sleeping at night. Not until the depression did I start having insomnia. I didn’t feel safe. Now I have to remind myself that I am safe and it’s ok to sleep.
I had a lot of things going on that I had to have unconditioned. In her book Gabby Bernstein “Happy Days” she says: “`When someone experiences a traumatic event, their amygdala (the emotional response center of the brain) often becomes overactive, which can lead to a heightened fear response, leaving the person in a persistent state of hyper-arousal and stress”. Even though our brain can forget what happened from disassociation these continue to affect us subconsciously. It can be in our bodies and our minds. “There it remains energetically present, leaving us in a constant state of alertness and on the lookout for danger”.
My course teaches 6 steps on how to recondition yourself from these responses. The first step is to become aware that you are having “flashbacks” of whatever trauma you experience. If it needs immediate attention, please seek professional help. If you are interested in having a life coach, please feel free to reach out to me and we can have a free zoom call to see if I can help you.
Below is the link to my Instagram page
GOT ANXIETY?
Is your anxiety wrecking your life? How do you calm the anxiety down so you can listen to yourself think? Get through a project without being anxious. Do you stay awake all night long thinking about the next day and going through scenarios that something bad is going to happen?
I was anxious so back that it would turn into full panic attacks. The Pain in my chest hurt so bad, and every time I wondered if I was having a heart attack even though I was in my 30’s. I couldn’t think, I had to tell myself to breathe deep and slow. I had to tell myself that I am safe, there is no danger around me. Sometimes it got so bad that if I was home, I would have to take medicine and lay down. But the problem with that is the medicine made me sleepy so I’d fall asleep. I had 3 kids at home, one being a special need and needed to be watched so he wouldn’t get into things he wasn’t supposed to.
I watched videos, you tube and listened to podcasts on how to meditate and do breathing exercises to calm my nerves. It has helped immensely. Doing EFT (tapping) has been so helpful as well. Positive affirmations work well for me also. These tools also helped me while I was grieving after our son had passed away. https://michelleedwardslifecoach.com/she-builds-people-up-because-she-knows-what-it-is-like-to-be-torn-down/
Now I help clients to manage anxiety, I give homework to find the source (or sources) of why you have anxiety, and work through the situation, and then I give them the tools to go through the steps on their own when they are alone.
If you want to find out why you keep having anxiety, and/or a monkey mind that won’t shut off, I have appointments available to help you.
Send me an email and we can discuss your options!!
Live your life the way you have always dreamed of living it!! Take back Control of your life, and find those dreams and make them happen!!!