Finding balance within a chaotic Life
Hi, I am Michelle Edwards
For over 20 years I have been on a search to find my true purpose. I have journaled, meditated, and said positive affirmations before it became really popular. I have worked on my anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. On my journey, I have yearned for balance in my then chaotic life, peace, and fellowship with like-minded people. I wanted to have a life filled with purpose and to step into my power. I wanted to feel connected once again. I longed to be seen, heard, and understood. I was always creating and then quitting soon after. I had a monkey mind that would not quit even at night. I worried all of the time. I wanted to have control, and be perfect in every aspect of my home and life. I would future-trip which made my anxiety worse.
Married life with children
Our firstborn son was born in 1988. At 8 days old he was (experimental) number 13 to receive a heart transplant on Valentine’s day at Loma Linda University Medical Center in California close to where we were stationed. My anxiety started around this time as well.
After 2 more children and our 3rd move to a base in New Jersey, I started to get panic attacks and was diagnosed with major depression. I couldn’t leave the house so I had to seek out a psychiatrist. While sitting in his office crying I remember him telling me “One day you will be happy, and you will have a good life.” My thought was “Are you crazy?!” I couldn’t see it. But I trusted him and I had to believe him.
I continued meditation and reading positive affirmations. I didn’t want depression and anxiety to rule my life.
Dealing with Grief
Our son passed away in 2006 from Lymphoma Cancer. With help from my psychiatrist and my practice of meditation, learning that I needed to let go of my old beliefs about what I know, and what I don’t know, I stopped “hoping” things would work out. I had 2 other children to live for and I was not going to let them down. On my path, I have rediscovered who I was. I took care of my soul. I slept when I needed it. I tried to eat a healthy diet.
Empty Nesters and depression
When both kids left for college we became empty-nesters. I was sad and lonely. My husband lost his job 3 times, and we ended up moving 3 times for his new jobs. I was a seasoned military wife so I survived the new locations. Our last move was near Miami FL.
Having 3 surgeries in 3 years and ANOTHER Move
In the 3 years that we have been here, I have had 3 surgeries. One was a major shoulder surgery after falling down the stairs. I pushed through the pain from the surgery, and physical therapy. I kept a positive outlook on life. After making a comeback I enrolled in an online school for herbalism. I was still searching for a way to live my life purpose, and help people.
In July 2019 I found out I had to have brain surgery to remove a cyst on my brain. I felt defeated and alone. I was dealing with depression and anxiety once again.
Crawling out of Darkness and Grief
I became a member of my favorite author Gabby Bernstein’s Miracle Membership. I followed her meditations and guidance on how to feel good, and be grateful for everything. I began to climb out of the darkness into the light once more. Her new book Super Attractor came out, and it was THE book that finally pieced everything together for me. I applied her steps to my life, and everything in my life began to change. I was becoming more aligned with my true self and I was ready to have faith in the Universe once again. I became aware of my inner voice and playing small. I began to shift my thinking and observe my self-talk. I began being self-aware and mindful by living in the present moment. I was more aware of future tripping and stopping the anxiety before it got worse. I learned that there was no reason for me to play small anymore. As Gabby put it: “The Universe has big plans for you, and it’s time to claim them.”
Meditation helped me find my way
While doing meditation of Gabby’s called Lifting The Veil I realized that I had a black cloak held tightly around me from grief, and it was making me sick. Through journaling, I had to let it go. As I wrote in my journal afterward: “I feel free and unburdened. I feel I am happy. I feel lightened. I feel carefree.” It didn’t mean that my grieving for my son was gone, it’s still there. It just means that I am not burdened by it any longer. I found that person that once was happy, and carefree.
Finding more meaning in my life
I signed up for Gabby’s manifestation challenge in January 2020, and while reading a post on the manifestation challenge page on Facebook someone asked about what Online School was best for a life coach.
Seeing Life Coach sparked something inside of me. I began to look at the online courses for life coaching that somebody had recommended. The more I read the more I got excited. This is what I was searching for. I have been preparing my life for this. I remembered a conversation with my psychiatrist so many years ago when I told him that I wanted to help people with depression and anxiety. I want to help people to move on and to believe in themselves.
Helping People as a Life Coach
As a Certified Professional Life Coach and a Certified Mindfulness Coach, I have helped clients become aware of their self-talk, Overcome being on autopilot, and to move on. I can help with Overcoming indecisions. Overcome inaction. I can help with anxiety, self-beliefs, or if you feel stuck in life, or your career by helping you with meditations, positive affirmations, and a 12 step by step process to finding your passion and your purpose in life, or your career.
I found my life purpose, let me help you find yours.