A Little Hiccup in the Road

We finally made it to Germany. I can’t believe November 12 was one month already. We had a temporary apartment for the first 30 days while we looked, and looked, and looked some more for a rental home.

We finally found one and we moved into it on November 10. The day before my hubby came home from work sick to his stomach. We thought he had food poisoning. He kept complaining of the side of his stomach hurting. After spending a night in our new rental home freezing because the floor heat and radiators weren’t working my hubby went to the urgent care on the Army base. I didn’t go because he thought he’d be home that night. He ended up texting me telling me he was going to be hospitalized for a blocked intestine!! WHAT?!! He had the rental car. How was I supposed to go there? WHY didn’t I go WITH him??!! All of these things were going through my mind.

Luckily his immediate boss and wife helped me out. The wife came to get me to bring me to the hospital to get the keys to the car. I confessed I hadn’t yet driven the rental car; I had driven our landlord of the apartment car that was an automatic. She kept going in these roundabout ways to get to the Army base. My anxiety started to spike and I wondered out loud can I drive home without getting lost, and drive the stick shift?!! We ended up at her house to pick up her husband so he could drive the car back to my house. We all (FINALLY) got to the hospital to see my hubby. He confessed the doctor told him it might be stomach cancer. Trying to not show my anxiety I put on my brave face. I don’t want to bore you with the details but if the medical plan wasn’t going to work they would have to do surgery.

Here’s the thing with anxiety. It likes to LIE to you about everything!! You can listen to it or you can say no I am going to look on the positive side and everything will just have to work out. I didn’t want to believe we had our dream come true to move to Germany, and then have something bad happen to my husband. A lot of things kept entering my mind while I lay on our air mattress at night!! Our household goods still aren’t here so we are “camping” out.

Things that helped me out:

  • TAPPING (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE): In the Tapping Solution APP I tapped on releasing anxiety and release overwhelm.

MEDITATION: On bringing in Light and love, and Appreciation. After my appreciation meditation, I wrote in my journal all of the things I appreciated and was grateful for.

This helps me to calm my anxiety down and keep my mind positive instead of dragging me into a dark hole. I have been there before, I don’t like being there. I know to take care of myself mentally and physically as well. It’s been a lot of trial and error, but I now know what I need to do to keep staying positive. It’s just like exercising every day. We need to work on being mindful. It’s easy to think of all the bad things that could go *wrong*. But I don’t want to dwell on that. Why should I? It will just add more stress and anxiety. And luckily none of those things came true. So I would have just worried for nothing.

If you ever go through something stressful please be gentle with yourself. It takes time to change your thinking to be mindful. It takes practice. I recommend doing 1 meditation or Tapping exercise and repeating it as necessary. Try to stay in the moment as well. Try not to dwell on the future. If you do gently bring yourself back to the now, and here.

What are some of the things you do to stay positive?

Here are 2 good Apps to have in your collection.

  1. Tapping Solution: This has really good subjects to TAP on. You can pick the category that you need for that day.
  2. Gabby Bernstein: this newly redesigned App has meditations, lectures, and a journal.

Walk In The Light Instead Of Darkness

The Universe is always supporting me. Even in the times of darkness. I try to swim but the waves engulf me. I rise above them to draw in a breath. The waves rise higher to drown me. I rise higher. I am Life. I am supported by the Universe. The Universe and I are one. We belong together. 

I was called here to shine my light on the world. I am drawn to see the positive in the things people see as negative. I am drawn towards the Light. I AM Special. I AM LOVE.  I am happiness. 

I keep believing in that over and over again. 

Darkness consumes me. I can’t see the light. I struggle. I am scared. It blocks me. I feel defeated. I want to give up. There is a tingling in my mind. Don’t give up it says! I am the Light, I am here!  

Stop struggling! You are the Light! The light is within you! Don’t you see?  

Go within. Don’t you see it? THERE in your HEART! You are Love. That’s the freedom. 

Stop struggling! That’s the answer! Slow down and look inward. The Light and Love have been there the whole time!  

The darkness begins to recede. Not too fast. I have too much work to do. I take it slow. There are many gifts to open to see what’s there. It’s overwhelming. I want to hide. But I can’t. The work needs to be done.  

I take it slowly. One day at a time. No, one moment at a time. My friends are my journal, affirmations and meditations. I start to do Tapping (EFT). These are the tools I need. Songs and books with meaning and hope. Songs and books with words that I need to hear. Words that I need at the time to keep me in the light. Words that keep me out of the darkness.  

I have HOPE. I start to dream. The fog and darkness start to lift.  

OH, The Light!! On my face! Hello old Friend. It warms my face, my hands and my heart!  

Maybe I can do this! It’s possible. My tools, my Angels and the Universe. My Fairies. My friends that only I can feel.